Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I heard Banda Ache has changed incredibly. I don’t think I’ll have a chance to leave the boat and go on shore to see the difference. Keeping my fingers crossed. We have more volunteers that came on board a couple of days ago, who are only here for about 1- 2 weeks. To only be fair, they get priority on going on shore. So, here I am, back on the wards, taking care of post-op surgical patients. I don’t really mind it, but I did love being immersed in their environment. Seeing how they live.

There is a sad case on my floor. He is known to us as Mauldin, B (for Bravo). The people here don’t have first names. Everyone goes by their surname. Here in Indonesia, family terms are commonly applied to everyone. “Bapak or pak” is used as Mr. (father) and “ibu” as Mrs. (mother). Younger people are referred to as “bang or bung” meaning older brother, and “kak” for older sister.

He is a 20 year old boy who was found to have osteosarcoma of his right leg. The leg had a tumor the size of a basketball growing. It was open, leaking with pus and had the most awful foul odor. When asked what happened to his leg, he contributed it to the Tsunami. I could not imagine this poor 20 yr old boy living with this growing on his leg for over a year. The pain that he and his family endured must have been difficult.

We brought him on board and found that the cancer in his leg had already spread to other bones in his body, to his lungs and his liver. There was nothing we could do to help him, but to amputate the rotten leg. The docs said he probably has a couple of months to live.
There is nothing they can do for him.

Then I think of my dad. It’s been over 3 yrs since he’s been free of cancer. He was diagnosed with a grade 4 glioblastoma (probably the worse type of brain tumor). I keep on thinking that if we were living in Cambodia, he would not be alive. I realize how lucky we are to be Americans - to have access to such up-to-date technology and treatment, and to have the option of treatment.

I wonder if Mauldin is at peace with the decision that he made. He could have stayed on shore, not knowing he has cancer, not knowing that he will die soon, but living with a rotten, cancerous leg. Instead, he chose to come aboard the ship. He found out that he has cancer, that we can’t do anything for him but to amputate the bad leg, and that he WILL die soon. Is it better to know or not to know? Is ignorance bliss?